Getting Down to the Nitty Gritty

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed their day with the family and friends. I had a great day with my family! The only thing missing was a baby being born! I will admit I'm glad that Skeletor did not make an appearance on Christmas Eve of Christmas Day. That would have been a little overwhelming to say the least. But now that we have made it through the holidays, he can come on anytime now. I have about a week and half left and I am SOOOOO ready for it to be over with. So if you get the chance, please say a little prayer that I go into labor very, very, VERY soon.

I can't believe how much my life has changed in the past year. Last year, I was in a completely different place in my life. I never even thought about having a baby. I feel like I have grown up a lot from the person who I was a year ago. I'm making better decisions about my life. I've eliminated a lot of stress and realized I don't need to be with anyone to make me happy. I am a lot stronger and more resilient now. I appreciate the people in my life who effect me positively everyday and accept their help because they genuinely care about me. I know that I could not go through this whole experience without my friends and family.

This week is going to be a super busy one. We have so much to do in the house still and we have to move everything out of my apartment. Needless to say, I'm trying to keep busy so I don't go crazy between now and the baby's arrival. Hopefully it will be soon!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

I cannot believe Christmas is next week. I feel like the time has flown by this month. Skeletor's arrival is 3 weeks and counting, and holy crap am I ready! I totally understand why some women elect for C-sections and inductions. These last couple of weeks SUCK!!!

I am no longer a Modern Mama. I am a waddling, crabby, tired blimp. My pregnancy clothes are getting snug, I can't tie my own shoes (let alone put them on), and I would give anything for a good night's sleep. I try to put on a good front, but I am praying that the full moon next week will get things going. I don't know if there is any truth behind the moons and gravitational pull, but I will believe just about anything now.

The house is coming along. We have been doing lots and lots and LOTS of work. My mom and dad have been absolutely amazing with all the time they have put into it. I wish I had the money to send them on a vacation for everything they do for me and the baby. Painting is the main agenda it seems now. Hopefully we can get everything we need to do done before the baby gets here.

My last week of work is next week, and then I have to be out of my apartment by the 31st. I figured I might as well keep myself as busy as possible the next 3 weeks. My plate is definately full! It is going to be so weird being off work for so long, but I know I won't be getting much rest.

Hope everyone is getting in the holiday spirit!

WTF Memory Book

Like every mother, I aim to keep track of Skeletor's every milestone throughtout his childhood years. My mother did for my sister and I with a memory book and a First Year Calendar. So I decided I needed these on my baby registry. Well apparently First Year Calendars are either extinct or you have search through hell and high water to find them. I did however find a cute memory book and one of my client's was kind enough to buy it for me as a baby gift.

So I received the memory book yesterday in the mail, and I was very disappointed when I discovered how much info was going to be left blank because the "Daddy" info won't be filled out. I would have to rip out at least 3 pages, and I really don't want to do that because I don't want to mess the book up.

All I have to say is when did the choice to be a single parent become a punishment? It is about to be 2011 people! Guess what? More than 1/4 of kids live in a single parent home. You would think that memory books would be more accomodating. I looked online for some that were more single-mom friendly, but apparently being a single parent isn't expensive enough without throwing in a $60 baby memory book. Are you kidding me?! And the ones I found were plain and boring.

All I want is a cute memory book that can satisfy my need to recored and organize my child's first milestones as they happen chronologically. I want somewhere to put his little hand prints, footprints, his first lock of hair, ect. Is that so much to ask for???

Alas, life is hard for single modern mama.

Get this Baby Out of Me!

So I have 5 weeks to go and it is absolutely true that this is the most uncomfortable part of being pregnant. I would take morning sickness any day over heartburn, indegestion, swollen ankles, ect. I have to pee like every 5 minutes and I waddle around like an old lady recovering from hip replacement surgery. I can put every ounce of effort I have into looking decent, i.e. full makeup, hair did, cute outfit; and I still look like a bloated, swollen fat whale. It's very discouraging.



But I know every nightmare has an end. Not that being pregnant has been that bad, but I am so over it. I'm ready to meet my baby and hold him. It's so strange. I'm really excited about him, but I feel kind of disconnected from him because I haven't actually met him yet.



So Mama Mia and I took our last birthing class this week, and I'm really glad I took them. A lot of people say "Oh, you don't need to take birth classes. They are a waste of time." Screw that! At least now I know what to expect when I show up at the hospital and when I go into labor. We took a tour of the birthing center, I learned some breathing techniques, and it just made me a little more at ease about the whole process. Not that I won't go into total freak out mode when I actually go into labor. Hopefully I can remain calm, but that's what Mama Mia is for, right?

So with Christmas coming, I am going to be kept plenty busy before Skeletor arrives. Between the house, work, and Christmas festivities I will have no time to be nervous about meeting my little punk. I put up my tree today and started decorating. I usually go for a real tree, but this year I opted for a fake tree considering it would be nearly impossible for me to water a real tree. Plus this way I have it for the next couple of years for me and Skeletor. Daniela and I are going to be baking cookies within the next week for clients, friends, and family. I have shopping to do and hopefully will be booked up until the baby arrives. Like I said, no time for nerves to get the best of me!

Counting Down the Weeks

So it's been a while since my last blog but I have had a lot going on in the past couple of weeks. My doctor appointments are every two weeks now and I have been back and forth between Swansboro like every week. So here is a little recap of what's been going on in this Modern Mama's life.



So I had an appointment this week and it went really well. Skeletor is growing and moving and progressing along really well. I origninally had my appointment scheduled with the evil Dr. Vogel, but after hearing several horror stories from clients and my own previous experience with him I called and complained. The receptionist was very understanding. She must hear the same complaints from other patients. So my appointment this week and my following one are with different physicians who have a much nicer bed side manner. Unfortunately, Dr. Vogel could still possibly deliver my baby so I basically will have to pray that he will NOT be the delivering doctor.

Mama Mia and I started childbirth classes last week and will have one each week of November. Pretty interesting stuff even though I have been reading up on the "Baby Bible." At least I now know that it will cost $180 to circumcise my little man. Apparently Medicaid believes that this is a purely cosmetic procedure. I beg to differ, and I'm sure that any other man would agree with me. Now I know that in several countries and cultures they do not practice circumcisions, but there are reasons for doing them other than for looks. So, needless to say, my new tv fund is now "Skeletor's cosmetic surgery" fund.

I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks it's ridiculous. We have started working on the house, and hopefully will start painting this weekend. Dad has been working on a few things that needed to be patched up, but all in all I know we will get it done before the baby comes.

Finally, I think I have settled on a name for Skeletor. I figured since he looks less like a skeleton now, it's only fair I start calling him by his name. Now that's not to say it may or may not change when I see him. I was leaning towards Owen Kellum, but then I thought "Do I really want my child's initials to be O.K.?" I mean, that's just asking to be made fun of on the playground. So I'm thinking his name will be Ethan Kellum. However, I did just go see Due Date and Zach Galifinakis's character's name is Ethan. Maybe he will grow up to be a comedian.

I Heart New England

I already miss it. Last week I had a mini family vacay up to Providence, RI to visit sister and F.B.I.L. (Future Brother In Law). It was so nice to get out of Wilmington and NC for a couple of days and see Meg and Matt. My favorite thing about Providence in October: the wonderful weather! I love fall. It is my absolute favorite time of the year. The cool crisp air...the colorful changing of the leaves...apples and pumpkins...I can't get enough of it!



My parents and I left on Wednesday morning and drove the 13 hours it takes to get to Providence. Note to all: 13-hour car rides are not comfy when you are 27 weeks pregnant. I don't think my dad realized how often we were going to have to stop for pee breaks and for me to walk around. Every 2 to 3 hours we had to make a pit-stop. Luckily, dad was understanding. I slept for the majority of the trip. There is something about long distance car rides that just put me to sleep. I woke up in Providence with Megan helping me out of the car. Nice way to arrive after a long drive.



Even though we did a lot of stuff, it was definately relaxing. Plus my parents, sister and I haven't really had family time like that in a while so it was really nice to be a family again. Usually when Meg comes to visit she can only come for a few days and there are so many other people for her to see we don't really get to spend a lot of time together as a family. We went apple picking and to dinner on Thursday and on Friday we went to Newport and shopped around. Mom and Dad left Saturday morning for Maine, and Meg and I went shopping and to a Columbus Day festival in Federal Hill. Then we did some more shopping and had dinner and dessert. It was so nice to not have to work, not have to worry about what I needed to do that day, and not have any stress for a couple of days.



Meg also got to feel Skeletor moving around. He's become so active these days and now other people can feel him too so it's a nice thing to share with others. Meg was also amused by how big my belly has gotten. The last time she saw me was in August at my shower. It's amazing much my belly has grown. Only 12 weeks to go!



I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks it is a little overwhelming. But I'm excited to start working on the house. It is going to be surreal living in my Great Granny's house. I'm happy though. I can finally start working on the nursery and start the nesting process. I have a feeling that this project is going to make my pregnancy fly by.



Speaking of the nursery, I have decided to have a forest theme with trees and owls. Nothing creepy! And I want to find those letters to put on the walls for his initials. I found some cute ideas online at Etsy and at Project Nursery. I've also narrowed down my names. Although I'm not entirely sold on a first name yet, I decided his middle name would be Kellum which is my great granny's maiden name. The contenders for first names are as follows: Owen, Mason, Jonas, and Miles.

I have my next appointment at the end of the month and mom is coming with me! We get to see Skeletor and I'm so excited! Hope everyone has a great week!

Don't Be Cruel

For those of you who know me, I have struggled with my weight throughout the years. Before I got pregnant, I had reached a weight that I was very happy and healthy with. I worked out, ate healthy, was a vegetarian, and was very proud of my weight. My family health history is not the greatest, so I wanted to get a hold on any issues that may affect me in the future. For someone this weight conscious, gaining pregnancy weight has been a little hard. I still eat healthy and work out, but it is still a struggle for me. The cravings that I have are hard to deal with especially when it is not something I would usually eat. So needless to say gaining weight is not something that comes easily to me.

So I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday with the horrible Dr. Vogel. Let me make a declaration: I HATE DR. VOGEL!!!!!

He is a nasty and vile man! Not only was his bedside manner very stale and abrupt, but he proceeded to tell me I was overweight. I admit, I have gained 10 lbs. in one month which was shocking to me when I got on the scale. How did this happen? I hardly eat enough for me let alone for the baby too! I may indulge once a week on a sweet or something, but I do not eat fast food and I make smart choices when it comes to my food. So when he saw my weight gain he automatically assumed that i gorge on burgers, fries, cake, ect. I tried to tell him that if anything I've been concerned about not eating enough, but I got the sense that he didn't believe me. Apparently I was overweight at my last appointment too, even though the other doctor said I was right where I needed to be weight-wise. I wanted to claw Dr. Vogel's eyes out! I don't think I would have been so annoyed if he had also been a little more helpful. He didn't make any suggestions about what I need to be doing to keep a healthy weight or managing my weight. As a health professional, I would have hoped for a little more advice and a little less criticism. Needless to say, I really hope that Dr. Vogel will not be delivering my baby!

On the upside, Skeletor is doing well. Moving around a lot and keeping his mama on her toes with his kicking and jabbing. My glucose test went well also, so no gestational diabetes to worry about. The next visit I get to have another ultrasound, so I'm really excited! Next week I'm off to Providence to visit Auntie Meg and the F.B.I.L. and I'm so looking forward to it. Can't wait to have some fall weather!

Ballroom Blitz

First off let me apologize for the extremely depressing blog that preceded this one. My hormones have been getting the best of me lately, and it's been a little hard to deal with all my emotions. I'm trying to get through everything by keeping my mind focused on Skeletor and our impending future.



One thing that has distracted me has been the constant movement that Skeletor has been doing inside my belly. It is soooo weird!! I cannot believe that their is another human being inside of me right now. It keeps becoming more and more real everytime he kicks me, everytime he switches sides, and everytime i see my belly move. He has been all over the place this past week. It's like he doesn't have enough room inside me, and he is constantly trying to stretch out. For all I know he could be doing laps inside there...although like I said before there probably isn't enough room for that.

I'm going on 26 weeks which means (and I'm hoping) only 11 to 13 weeks left. Damn it's going by fast! To think my little zombie will be here that soon...OH MY GOD! That's so close. Am I ready? Do I have everything I need to be prepared for a baby? Am I going to be a good mama? What if I have a mental meltdown when he gets here? Stop....relax and breathe.

The "Baby Bible" has begun to give advice on labor and birthing classes. I tried to read ahead so I could get informed, but I realized that I am NOT ready for that information. I made the mistake of watching a live birth on YouTube the other day. A little friendly advice: DO NOT WATCH!!! I don't know what I was thinking. I think I'm better off just reading up on the info instead of viewing what my body is going to go through.

Well, the next couple of weeks should be interesting!

Emotions are Running High

Today has been an emotional day for me. I'm 6 months now and I think the reality of everything is finally hitting me. I am coming to terms with the fact that my life is going to change drastically. It's not that I haven't realized this already. I know all the changes. I guess I just didn't think about all the changes that would affect me now during my pregnancy. I am lonely. I can't go out and do things with my friends like I used to do. I know it may sound stupid, but I don't feel like I'm fun anymore. I don't want to be one of those people who sits at home with her dogs just because she's pregnant, but I don't feel like me anymore. It's a little overwhelming for me.

To resolve this issue, I have decided that I just have to keep busy. That means lots of working out, going home to The Creek, and anything to pre-occupy my mind. I just need to stay busy and it will all pass. Soon I hope.

The Ever Growing Belly, Ladies & Gentlemen

I swear everyday when I wake up my belly continues to grow and grow and grow!!! I get up out of bed and I can literally feel my skin stretching. It is sooo weird. Needless to say I have taken stock in Nivea body lotion and Mama's Toning Oil. I refuse to have bad stretch marks or cellulite as a result of Skeletor. This is my daily mantra and oath to my former body. I will succeed!!!

Skeletor has also been very active in the past week. He has been kicking up a storm and rolling around in there so much. It is the strangest feeling and it is really difficult to describe. When he kicks it feels like a cross between a muscle spasm and popcorn popping. The other night I had my hand on my stomach and all of a sudden it jumped. He kicked the hell out of me! The left side seem to be his favorite. Sometimes when he shifts sides I can feel him roll through. That is the strangest feeling because the front of my abdomen all of sudden gets really tight and then it's normal again. I feel like the zombie chick in Dawn of the Dead right before she gives birth. Hopefully my little zombie doesn't want to eat the delivering doctor's brains.

Sorry to keep it short today, but I have to get moving so I can feel some movement from him tonight!

Have a great day!

Hungry and Tired

So it's been awhile since my last post and I apologize for that. It's been a little hectic since my last post with work and I have been exhausted! I think the excitement of the shower and seeing sister took a lot out of me. Plus work has been crazy. On days I want to leave early, I get really busy. On days I'm hoping to be busy, it's dead. But I'd rather be busy than not.

The baby shower was great! My sister did a good job of organizing it and I really enjoyed seeing family and friends. I got a lot of great stuff too! I got a lot of stuff on my registry and a lot of stuff I wouldn't have even thought about. I had no idea what a Bumba was, but I got one. And I definately won't have to worry about Skeletor being naked either. Plenty of cute outfits to put him in! It pays to have people who have been through babies before. They think of everything! I know I said I would post some pics but there should be some on my facebook page from the shower.

So my appetite has been pretty much at an all time low, but the doctor said I'm where I should be as far as size and weight goes. Nothing sounds appetizing to me. Don't get me wrong...if it's put in front of me I will probably eat it. But cooking is not something I enjoy right now. I think it's because I have no idea what I want to make, and I don't want to go through the process of making it either. I'm just too tired to cook. Man, I wish I had a personal chef right now to do that work for me. Hopefully my energy will come back in the next couple of weeks.

To close out on this blog I have a new revised list of names for Skeletor. Apparently, (according to Auntie Meg) he is already a legend with her soon to be nephews. So I have decided to let you guys in on some of my options. (Side note: Meg DO NOT even think of using these names) My list is as follows:

Beckett, Miles, Finn, Eliott, Sullivan, Elias, Owen, Mason, Dexter, and Abram

(These names are interchangable between being first, middle, or either.)

Input is greatly appreciated although that does not mean I will take it into consideration. Lol!


Have a great week!

Eat Your Fruit and Veggies, Dear

I absolutely love the fact that the Baby Bible refers to your baby's weekly growth by comparing him to a fruit or vegetable. It makes it a little easier to visualize the actual size of your baby. Not to mention it gives produce shopping a whole new meaning. For example, today little Skeletor is making the transistion from cantaloupe to banana (don't ask me how that works exactly, I always thought a cantaloupe was bigger than a banana). So the other day at the grocery store, I caught myself staring at the melon display with a very uneasy look on my face. A cantaloupe is not that small people! It's a rather large fruit, and it's in me right now! I ended up buying bananas, but I doubt I will be eating any this week. Seems a little strange to eat produce that represents the size of your baby.

Once I get past this week, Skeletor will be on two week intervals for his fruit-veggie-comparison. I have included the link for those of you who are interested to see what produce I will be carrying in the future weeks to come. The website is thebump.com and the chart is under pregnancy tools.

Today is the baby shower so I will have plenty to blog about and pics to include, and yes I will make sure there are some baby bump sitings as well. Hope everyone has a great day!!

What's In a Name?

I think the most difficult part of having a child is picking out a name. This act alone can affect your child for the rest of their life. According to babynamestats.com: "Naming your baby is one of the most important tasks you will undertake. The name is central to a child's earliest sense of identity...Settling for a name you are not 100% happy with may affect you and your child for a lifetime." No pressure or anything.

Needless to say I have been on the hunt for the perfect name for Little Skeletor (I have affectionately been refering to him as this). At first I thought, "How hard can a boy name be?" There aren't that many options that are original. However, once I started my research and began jotting down some options my list was about 20 names deep. Whoa. I prefer names that are classic, somewhat vintage. But still modern and very hip sounding for a child. I want my son to have a name that he can grow old with. As an individual with a very different name, I appreciate the fact that my parents stepped out of the box. I admit, I didn't really like it when I was little, but I'm glad I don't have the same name as a million other girls my age. So I have made about 3 lists each one containing sub-categories: first and middle names. (For those of you who read my sister's blog will see the similarity between us with our obsessive compulsive need for lists, organization, and research) By doing this, I have been able to begin narrowing down my choices because I seem to have some of the same names on each list. The problem is that a new name will pop into my head and then I have to add it to my list. It is quite possibly the hardest decision to make.

What if I choose the wrong name?

What if the name I choose does not fit my child in any way whatsoever??

What if he grows up to resent me and the name I picked for him???

What if people make fun of him????... Okay mama needs to step away from name lists...

I do however think that I will keep the name a secret. I don't really want input from every other person for what I should and shouldn't name my child. I appreciate any advice though. Plus I will totally enjoy making people squirm knowing that they are dying to know the name.

Good Luck guessing suckas!

Boy oh Boy!

That's right ladies and gentlemen: Mama's having a boy! So I thought I would be disappointed because I really wanted a little girl, but I'm not disappointed at all. Now I'm really pregnant. Now it's real. And now I get to shop! I've already started looking at some stuff and it's a little frustrating. Most of the clothing I have looked at has something about "Daddy" on it. Not buying that!!! Or it has cutsie stuff that I just am not into. So the internet hunt has began. My child will not look like a smurf puked up it's smurf berry juice all over him! (It's so weird to refer to the baby as "him" now!)

Baby Daddy attended the appointment with me on Wednesday. It was kept civil, thankfully. While he did annoy me with his references to his other children and his ex-wife's pregnancy, I took the high road and ignored his comments. He seemed happy during the ultrasound when we got to see the baby, but once the appointment was over we went our separate ways. We didn't get a chance to discuss finances for the baby, so we shall see how civil he will remain after that conversation.

Mama Mia and I started my registery on Wednesday also. It is soooo overwhelming to pick out baby stuff! There are like 6 different bottle brands, pacifiers, nipples, ect. I have no idea if what I picked out is the right stuff or not. But then again, is any specific brand better than the other? Honestly, I will be happy with whatever I receive at my baby showers because I can never make a decision.

Sorry to keep this blog so short, but I'm cooking dinner and it's time for Mama to eat!

Have a great week all!

Oh Baby!

First off let me just apologize for the shots of my undies, but everytime my mom took a pic I was wearing a dress or a nightgown.

So within the past two weeks by belly has gotten huge! Well maybe not that huge but to me it is a significant difference. Sunday I woke up and began getting ready for work, and nothing fit me! My tops are too small because of my boobs, my pants are too tight because of my belly; what's a girl to do? So Monday mama and auntie M took me shopping for some new clothes. Unfortunately, there are not many options out there to choose from that are reasonably priced. However, I was able to find an item that I simply cannot live without: SKINNY JEANS!!! Yes, that's right I got my preggo skinny jeans and they are a size 8! This little momma is NOT getting fat for any reason other than the peanut. Today I bought a new top to wear to work, too. My search will continue to find cute maternity clothes that still allow me to look like the cool, rockin' hot mama that I intend to be.

On the Baby Daddy front, I am torn between asking him for help and just telling him to piss off. The mature and reasonable side of me knows that I am going to need his help. And I know that he will help me. However, our relationship is going to have to be treated like a business agreement. He doesn't seem to understand me or anything about me, so I am buying notebooks to keep track of everything he gives me, communicates to me, ect. I am printing out budgets and itemized lists of everything I need. Hopefully he will be able to understand me a little bit better when it's broken down and shown as a business proposal. We will see. I haven't seen him since the last appointment, and I have one next week. This will be the last one he attends with me.

Well, I hope everyone has a great week! Next week I find out what the baby's sex hopefully!

The Great Wax Adventure Brought to You by the Best Week EVER!!!

I'm going to go on record by saying that I have quite possibly some of the worst luck known to man. Nothing ever seems to go my way. Until recently...This past week my luck seems to have turned around. I don't want to jinx myself, but I finally feel like things may be looking up for me and my little baby. First, I went to the Social Security office and actually only spent a total of 15 minutes in the black hole of our government agencies. For those of you who have had the great misfortune of having to go to the Social Security office for anything, you know that this can be an all day adventure. I needed a replacement social security card, and thankfully it only took me 15 minutes to accomplish this task. And it only took 2 days to receive the replacement card.

The next day, I woke up early and went to the Department of Social Services to apply for Medicaid. Now, I have insurace but it isn't the greatest. I know that I could not afford to have a baby with my insurance. Not to mention that I work my ass off and pay taxes. I have every right to take advantage of the federal programs offered to those who just can't afford to do it on their own. Anyhow, this task can also take all day to complete from what I understand. However, I was in and out of that office in an hour. And 4 days later, I received my Medicaid card.

The complicated car situation is on it's way to an end as well. The bank will hopefully approve and close on my auto loan on Monday. I was able to negotiate the car dealer down to the price I needed in order to get the loan, too. It made me feel so powerful and adult-like! So hopefully next week my mom can have her car back and I will finally have my own again!!!

Now on to the Great Wax Adventure:
Wednesday I had my first wax appointment...brazilian wax. See, I have decided that there is no way in hell I am going to be able to keep it nice and neat when I have a big huge belly. So I've decided that waxing would be the best solution to this problem. I showed up and Jaycee (waxing extraordinaire) took me back to her room. She was super nice and made me feel at ease, but I will say it was not the most comfortable thing in the world to go through. I dropped my drawers and climbed onto the table. There were stirrups just like at the doctor's office that I put my feet in. And then the process began...and let me say it was a little more painful than I remembered. Thankfully, Jaycee is quick. We talked about the baby and work while she ripped away. Fifteen minutes and I was cleaned up. Apparently I will have to go back in 3-4 weeks and then I will be on a 6 week regimen. And while it was a little painful, I know I won't have to deal with the headache of shaving. Not to mention it will help me prepare for childbirth. If I can make it through a brazilian, then I can make it through labor.

Independence Can be a Lonely Road

This I promise (or will try to promise) will be my one and ONLY sappy sad blog. However, I feel it is important to write and reflect on this issue, so you can skip if you would like. While being a Modern Mama is completely liberating and empowering, it can be a lonely road. Yes I have my wonderful family and ever-so supportive friends, but I will admit I miss having a man around. I've realized I need some help doing things now that I could do on my own before. I tried to hang curtain rods the other day and came to the conclusion that I probably shouldn't be climbing up and down the couch in my condition. There is some work that is just plain Man work. But the obvious things like helping out and companionship aside, I wish I had someone around to experience all of this with me. The growing belly, the hunger attacks, to tell me it's ok that I'm getting bigger and bigger everyday, ect... It's hard being a Modern Mama. However, that being said; I am still happy with my decision. I feel peaceful and stress-free for the most part and I know if I was in a relationship with Baby Daddy I would not be in that frame of mind.

Onto bigger news...my dear friend Mandy gave me some of her bras from her early days and I was completely shocked when I was able to fit comfortably in them. Shocked because they are a size 34DD!!!!! HOLY MOLEY!!! And the scary thing is that are going to continue to grow. These bad boys aren't finished yet. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I guess there is nothing I can do. Now, most women would be excited about this new development, but I on the other hand am not. I like wearing a medium to small sized shirt. None of my tops fit anymore, growing belly aside. But I guess that's just one of the many "perks" of being pregnant.

Well off to try to accomplish more "man work." Wish me luck!

Growing Growing Gone!

Is it even possible that in the week since my last post my belly has grown bigger? I do believe it is my friends. My favorite stretchy skinny jeans no longer button up folks. I cried. It was a very sad day in my world. I tried the belly band with them, but it wasn't very comfortable. It was a little too tight and the band kept coming up in the back when I would sit down and stand up. So needless to say in the next month I will be in need of some new clothes. And thanks to my dear friend Nikki, I have been informed that Forever 21 now carries maternity clothes!!! I am so happy to hear this information because the clothes are cheap, trendy and don't make you feel like a giant tent. The problem with maternity clothes is that they are pretty pricey, and they are not the most stylish clothes. Everything is either plain and boring or has a sash that ties in a bow on it. Screams "Hot Mama" doesn't it? Not to mention I do not want to pay 60 bucks for a pair on pants or a top that I'm only wearing for like 4 months. I have found some other cute clothes online, but I'm trying to put off buying clothes as long as I can. However, by the looks of it that won't be much longer.

My belly is not the only thing growing. My boobs are the biggest they have EVER been. I don't even know what to do with these things. They hurt all the time. I can't run, I can't wear certain bras, and I'm overflowing the cuppage in my bras that do fit comfortably. Although I will say, I'm tempted to take a picture of them. That way if they look horrible after the peanut is born, I can save up and I know what I want them to look like. Apparently they will only grow more as I get further along. AHHH!!! I don't know if I can handle anymore growth!

Sorry to keep this one short and sweet but I have a puppy to take for a walk. There will be more tomorrow!

Where the Hell Did That Come From?!

Overnight people...it came from nowhere. One day I had a flat stomach that I worked my ass off for and BOOM!...now there is a slightly rounded bump. Ok, it's not slightly...it's a pretty decent size. At first I thought is was just bloatedness from the Taco Bell (yeah, yeah I know but don't judge me) I ate two nights ago, but yesterday when I stood up it was hard as a rock. That's not gas, that's a baby. Needless to say Modern Mama has been looking into more maternity bottoms.

Back to the Taco Bell comment from above. Lately, since my appetite has picked up, I have noticed that whenever someone talks about a particular food or brings it around me, I start to crave it. Scratch that, I NEED it! Case in point, Tuesday night at work I had like three different conversations with people where they were talking about pizza. Now I had already packed my yummy healthy dinner of baked chicken, green beans, and home made mac-&-cheese (thank you mama for the recipe). But that looked like dog food compared to the deliciousness of gooey cheese, garlicky crust, and delightful mushrooms. I ate my healthy dinner, but I ate it for lunch. And since the little bugger inside burns everything I eat off so quickly, I was starving when I got home. So what did I do? Your damn right....I ordered pizza. It was delicious until my stomach began to hurt. I remembered why I don't usually eat pizza, the cheese makes my tummy hurt. Same thing with Taco Bell. My friend had it the other night, and I immediately felt that it was something I had to have. No more I tell you! I don't want to hear anymore about what people are eating!!! I must remain healthy...I mean I hate fast food. But apparently my baby thinks it scrumptious.

Back to the Grind

Well 4th of July weekend came and went and I had a blast. Met some cool new people, hung out with my Matty, and had a great 4th with Daniela and her family. And now it's back to the grind...

Took my ass to the gym today and this mamasita is determined to go at least 4 days a week. Now before any of you can comment, my doctor and the Bible both say that 4 days is safe for the peanut and good for me too. So that being said, I am ready! I refuse to have people think I'm fat and not pregnant! Not to mention I am NOT gaining more than what was recommended to me by my doctor. Let the resolution begin!

So within this past week I have begun to experience "growing pains" or as I like to call them "the cramps that feel like my insides are being ripped out." These are NOT FUN!!!! These lovely little aches are the result of the ligaments in my uterine muscles stretching. Sounds awesome huh? They always seem to hit me later in the evening too or when I'm out doing something. I have found the only relief comes from me laying down which I know is a good thing. I should be taking it easy and relaxing, but I have a problem. I can't sit still or just relax. I feel like I always have something to do, so I guess I'm going to have to start listening to my body and chill out. Plus I'm hoping the gym will help with them as well.

I have also started feeling like I have butterflies in my tummy. Now it may be in my head, but the Bible says that sometimes in the 4th month you start to feel fluttering in your stomach. The fluttering is the baby. It happens late at night or when I've been sitting still for a long period of time. Call me dramatic or call it wishful thinking, but I think my baby is moving around already quite a bit and I can feel it happening.

Well, that's it for now. Bowie is pawing at me to get off the computer and I have dinner to cook. I'm taking the professional's advice and taking it easy tonight!

Heartbeats, Kicking, and Drama...OH MY!

Well I'm back in good ole' North Carolina and while I missed my dear friends and family very much, I wish I was still in San Francisco. California was like my Neverland, if you will. I could be me and not worry about anything except what part of the city I wanted to explore that day or whether or not to have a croissant or oatmeal for breakfast. I was care-free and totally happy because there was no drama or stress to worry about. I was 2500 miles give or take from the BS of Wilmington. Alas, I had to return. Like Wendy, John, and Michael I could not stay in Neverland forever. We all must grow up and face the reality of our situation...BOO!!! Sometimes I really hate being an adult.
I digress. So yesterday I had my second dr. appointment and it was probably the longest I have ever spent in a medical office. Baby Daddy came along and that made for an awkward reunion, but the appointment itself went well. We had to divulge our deep and darkest secrets to a nurse who was very nice and smiley. More like I gave her all of my medical history (which I suspect surprised
Baby Daddy a little) and my family's medical history. I hope this kid inherits some good health genes. I am healthy as a horse but my family...not so much in the cardiovascular department. But I honestly believe that a lot of those issues can be controlled by diet and physical activity, and I plan on my child living a healthy lifestyle.
After what seemed life half my day in the nurse's office, I met Dr. #1 of the six that I will be seeing at my OB office. She was very nice and made several helpful suggestions to me. We then got to hear the heartbeat, and that was very surreal for me. The little peanut has a strong heartbeat thankfully. Then we heard it kicking! It's funny but aside from the exhaustion, nausea, and sore boobs, I never really feel pregnant until I go to the doctor. It's as if I don't believe it until I see the baby or hear it's little heartbeat. I can't wait until I can feel it moving or kicking. Then I will know it's definately real. Even Baby Daddy got excited about hearing peanut kick.
That being said, (and I will keep this real short) Baby Daddy and I are now on a need to know basis about the baby. My honesty about my expectations of our relationship did not sit well with him unfortunately. I have resolved, and I will teach my child the same philosophy, that it is not fair to sacrafice one's self or beliefs to make someone else happy. I love who I am. Yes, I may have some areas I need to work on, but overall I should not apologize for who I am. You cannot make anyone else happy until you are happy yourself, and I'm sticking to my guns on this subject.

Enough preaching!
This modern mama has some errands to run!

It's Official...

I'm definately pregnant.  Of course I already knew this, but yesterday made it totally real.  What was it that became the defining moment for me and my little peanut you ask?  I bought pregger jeans.  Yep, that's right folks.  I swear that in the time I left NC and arrived in CA, my belly has grown.  Not much, but definately enough to cause my jeans to be uncomfortable.  Nikki and I did some shopping yesterday and by the time we hit the third store I couldn't take it anymore.  I felt like someone was tightening a belt around my waist to the point where I couldn't breathe.  I found myself wanting to pull my pants down below my waist and let my belly hang out.  Nice image right?  I sound like a morbidly obese person who ate too much at the all-you-can-eat buffet.  So we went by H&M (love that store!) and come to find out they have a very small section for maternity clothes.  Now folks, maternity clothes are not very trendy at all.  Your lucky if you can find anything that doesn't scream "boring" or "bland."  And while their selection was limited, low and behold I found a pair of jeans that worked.  Believe me when I say that my tummy felt 20 times better when I put those jeans on.  I could breathe!  I didn't feel like I was cutting off the flow of oxygen to the rugrat.  Not to mention they looked like low rise jeans, but I didn't have to worry about my ass hanging out whenever I sat down.  I should have been wearing these a long time ago.  You don't have to worry about a muffin top.  You can eat too much, and you don't have to unbutton your jeans for relief.  I believe that every woman, pregnant or not, should own a pair.  They are definately worth the money spent on them.  Now I need to find a pair of dark skinny pregger jeans, and I will be set.

Trapped on a Plane in Dallas

(This was written while on the plane last night, but I thought I would share it with you today)

For the love of God I want off of this plane!  So far my trip to SF has been an adventure to say the least.  My flight from Raleigh to Dallas was delayed because people who decided to carry on obviously do not know what constitutes as a carry on.  Therefore we had to wait while their luggage was checked.  And now at the moment I'm stuck on a plane in Dallas.  As of now I have been sitting in this seat for over 2 hours!!!  It's uncomfortable enough for a normal person to be on a plane for that long but try it when you are pregnant!  I'm at the point too where pants and yes, even legging are a little snug on my belly.  My back hurts, I'm tired, and I've finished the book I bought for this trip.  I NEED A COCKTAIL!!!!  But I can't even have that.  Instead I get an oats and honey granola bar handed to me for my troubles...gee thanks a lot!

*****After Note****

   I finally landed in SF around 145 am west coast time.  I essentially traveled for 24 hours yesterday...Thankfully Nikki had ginger tea and soup for me to enjoy before sleeping like the dead.

I Hate Being Sick!

Go figure that I would get a cold two days before my vacation! Congestion, body aches, sore throat, ear ache, and overall miserability...Mama is NOT happy! So I first consulted the "bible" and it told me that I could take benadryl and a decongestant. However, I was a little weary of taking anything before talking to my doctor. I called my OB this morning, and a nurse told me to stock up on Claritin, Benadryl, and cough drops. Then my body and head started hurting so I called back like the ever cautious person (and mom-to-be) that I am. Tylenol is fine to take but in a low dosage. So I made my way to CVS and bought my arsenal of drugs to help fight this monster off. No way am I letting a little cold ruin my fun! Being sick is a bitch as it is and I am not a fun sick person to be around. I whine, cry, and don't want to be around anyone. But being sick AND pregnant...even worse! My symptoms are 10x worse than they normally would be and the decongestant makes me more nauseous. I haven't really been able to keep much down except mashed potatoes. So while I still have some packing to finish up, this little mama will be sipping chamomile tea and taking a bath to suck all the toxins out of my body. I plan to be sleeping like a corpse by 1030 promptly.

Hoping to feel better,
Modern Mama

Mama's Going to Cali, Ya'll!

Yep, that's right folks...this little mama is going out West. I can't wait to see Nikki and Jeff, eat some good food, shop, and see how the other coast lives. Nikki works a prenatal clinic which is another plus because they offer prenatal yoga, massage, and accupuncture. Bring on the zen! Bring on the rubs! Bring on the needles? Although I heard that accupuncture will help with the nausea. So I'm preparing for my flight today and tomorrow. Being the "List Master," I have several made to help me in my packing and travel preparation. I have one for my suitcase, one for what I need to buy for the trip, and one for my carry on. Baby Daddy took me to Barnes & Noble last night and bought me a new planner and a book to read on the plane. I selected Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother-to-Be, a humorous memoir about a woman who becomes pregnant unexpectedly, and how pregnancy affects her social, personal, and professional life (sound familiar?) I feel like I can totally relate to this woman. I'm pretty sure I will have it finished by the time I get back to NC. I will let you know the verdict on the book.
What I'm really hoping for from this little vacay is to totally relax and just forget about all the stress in my life. Nikki has that effect on me. I feel like San Francisco will allow me to mellow out and come back in a zen like state.

Back to the packing!!

The Baby Bible

I thought I lost it. It being the most important manual to pregnancy EVER written. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, you will one day. I'm talking about the book What to Expect When You're Expecting, a.k.a "The Baby Bible." I will be referring to it as the latter. This little book has everything you need to know about being pregnant. Without it, I wouldn't have any idea what the hell is going on with my body or the baby. Any question you have, it has an answer. It is my lifeline. And I thought I had lost it. I have been without the bible for about a week, and I began to panic a little. What does it mean when my nausea stops? What happens if I get overheated? Can I eat the precooked chicken that Oscar Meyer so conveniently makes for my salads? I NEEDED ANSWERS!!! Thankfully, "Baby Daddy" had it in his car and was kind enough to bring it to me yesterday. I immediately grabbed the book, checked for the answers to my questions, and wrote down my current weight in the front jacket. I have been charting my weight gain in the book. This way I can refer to the chapter that tells me how much I should be gaining each trimester (it's not looking good so far). So now I can rest at ease. My mind can be soothed. And I can rest knowing that tomorrow's questions will be answered.

Good Night All!

And the Cravings Begin

I haven't had many cravings so far because I'm always sick to my tummy, but boy are they kicking in at full force. For example, I mentioned to a friend of mine that I wanted to eat Thanksgiving food. So Sunday we will be having a little Thanksgiving dinner of our own. Is it sad that I'm super stoked about this? I just hope I continue to be stoked. Ususally if I have a craving, it sounds like a great idea. But once i have said craving in front of me...not so much anymore. It's very frustrating! Other than the Thanksgiving food, my Top 3 cravings are as follows: any type of comfort food, seafood (preferably fried or broiled), and mac & cheese.
THESE ARE NOT HEALTHY CRAVINGS!!!!! So if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do about finding healthier alternatives to these cravings, I would be deeply appreciative. Thank goodness my energy is going back up 'cause this mama will definately be at the gym if she eats any of the above!

Happy Eating!

It's Not Going to be Easy

My name is Dara and I'm a soon to be single mama! I am excited about this new adventure in my life, but I will not lie to you when I say I am scared to death about the next few months. I am due January 6, so I have quite a ways to go. I am coming to the end of my first trimester, and it has not been a cake-walk. My morning sickness is more like all day sickness. Ginger ale is my new best friend, however I don't think I will ever be able to drink it once this kid is here. My energy level is not very high and I feel like I could sleep all day. My boobs have grown so much I didn't think it was possible. This has been the ONLY plus in this first stage of my pregnancy. I even had to buy a new bathing suit because my top from last year doesn't fit me anymore. With all that said, I'm so glad I have a supportive family and group of friends. The father will definately be involved in this little "peanut" (as it has so affectionately been nicknamed by it's Auntie M) life. But I'm so lucky to know that the baby will have so much love surrounding it throughout it's life. This blog is my new hobby to keep me busy, so I will make a true effort to keep it updated daily! Wish me luck!