Thursday, July 1, 2010

Heartbeats, Kicking, and Drama...OH MY!

Well I'm back in good ole' North Carolina and while I missed my dear friends and family very much, I wish I was still in San Francisco. California was like my Neverland, if you will. I could be me and not worry about anything except what part of the city I wanted to explore that day or whether or not to have a croissant or oatmeal for breakfast. I was care-free and totally happy because there was no drama or stress to worry about. I was 2500 miles give or take from the BS of Wilmington. Alas, I had to return. Like Wendy, John, and Michael I could not stay in Neverland forever. We all must grow up and face the reality of our situation...BOO!!! Sometimes I really hate being an adult.
I digress. So yesterday I had my second dr. appointment and it was probably the longest I have ever spent in a medical office. Baby Daddy came along and that made for an awkward reunion, but the appointment itself went well. We had to divulge our deep and darkest secrets to a nurse who was very nice and smiley. More like I gave her all of my medical history (which I suspect surprised
Baby Daddy a little) and my family's medical history. I hope this kid inherits some good health genes. I am healthy as a horse but my family...not so much in the cardiovascular department. But I honestly believe that a lot of those issues can be controlled by diet and physical activity, and I plan on my child living a healthy lifestyle.
After what seemed life half my day in the nurse's office, I met Dr. #1 of the six that I will be seeing at my OB office. She was very nice and made several helpful suggestions to me. We then got to hear the heartbeat, and that was very surreal for me. The little peanut has a strong heartbeat thankfully. Then we heard it kicking! It's funny but aside from the exhaustion, nausea, and sore boobs, I never really feel pregnant until I go to the doctor. It's as if I don't believe it until I see the baby or hear it's little heartbeat. I can't wait until I can feel it moving or kicking. Then I will know it's definately real. Even Baby Daddy got excited about hearing peanut kick.
That being said, (and I will keep this real short) Baby Daddy and I are now on a need to know basis about the baby. My honesty about my expectations of our relationship did not sit well with him unfortunately. I have resolved, and I will teach my child the same philosophy, that it is not fair to sacrafice one's self or beliefs to make someone else happy. I love who I am. Yes, I may have some areas I need to work on, but overall I should not apologize for who I am. You cannot make anyone else happy until you are happy yourself, and I'm sticking to my guns on this subject.

Enough preaching!
This modern mama has some errands to run!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you have made some decisions about your life and peanut's life too. I'm pulling for you. Love you!